The Real and the "Reel" ( Mere Reflections..)

* This topic isn't a discussion but just a window for the pent up frustration and anger inside me.

Nowadays, the most clichéd dialog one might hear is "All is well". And thats how I took things to be (even if this was for a short period) before I realized that what makes Life so "Real".

Hope and Fate are one of the two most sought after in this world. One is what we always rely upon and the other is what we most definitely want to change. Just yesterday even I was the same, Hope that things will happen as I certainly wanted them to be and sure that I would make our fates meet.

But today I realize that this is what is the "Reel" part in life. Always having the hope that fate will be what we want it to be. People actually call this optimism. But I call it imprudent and irrational.

Why imprudent and irrational, I mean what the hell is wrong in being hopeful, in being "optimistic" and having the faith that we actually are in control of our own Fate. Let me link this with the experience that actually changed my beliefs from the "Reel" to the "Real".

Throughout my life I have been more of a "Real" person. But the past few months brought into my life remnants from my past, a certain someone. She was one of the only few people left that actually were important to me in my life, so important that for once I had to let her go because I could foresee that continuing on with things as they were was futile. Having her back once again was something that made for once believe that I should be "Optimistic" and that things can turn out the way I want if I try real hard. The more I tried, the more our fates seemed to be moving apart. But with every gust of wind that blew all my efforts to waste, I stood up more determined than the last time. Every time I put in more effort than the previous. Even though the hope dwindled, but I tried relighting the flame with the belief that there was this certain "Fate" that I had to attain. That we were and we are meant to be together. She even mentioned that she moved on, that you mean nothing to me now, that you should try letting it go, that you should try to understand. But all I said was "All is well". For once, life could be "Reel" was what I believed. With every passing day, my resolve grew stronger, and I started basing my decision in life based on the two of us, trying to encompass her being within the boundaries of my own.

But with every failed attempt, frustration grew. Sometimes it grew out of bounds to an extent that I could manage it to control no further. The way she acted, the way she talked, the way she answered back, everything started affecting the minutest of details in my life. And given the fatalistic mode I was in, I felt as if nothing else mattered to me in life. This was the only thing I was meant to attain.

And it grew to an all time high, yesterday. It was then that something stuck my mind. Why was I basing my life on someone that I now hardly know. Someone who hadn't shown the tiniest bit of trust and faith in what I had done. Someone who had not even bothered to even inquire about the basis of my actions in the first place. Someone who can't even understand my actions, my words and my feelings. It was then it struck me, the reason why she held that importance in my life. It was something she said to me once. Something that was lodged in my head forever. "It can be just one person in my life". Something which now, as I know, wasn't true. It was more of a revelation. And It was then it hit me, that this wasn't suppose to be. As she wasn't the same as before or maybe she wasn't that way at all, just pretending all the time along. All the time I thought I was at fault, but now I knew, it was either that I was fooled or that at the very least the fault wasn't on my part. And so I finally did decide to let this madness go.

I realized from this experience, that hope and fate are two things that one should never cater to simultaneously i.e. you should never "Hope" for a certain "Fate". If one does so, one relinquishes control of his beliefs and his reason, and lets mere emotions drive his action. He loses sight of what is right and what is not. And so he starts to lose his sanity which drives him further from the realm of reason and more into the depths of irrationality. At the end of the day, one should realize that life is as Real as it gets.

And that life is as simple as it gets, and as complicated as you make it.