The Toughest Battle

It has been for quite some time, that I have actually had my modest feet on this planet. And all through this journey called "Life", there's been always one thing that I have been in search of. That even though that this Life is a constant struggle and battle against all odds, but which is the most toughest of them all. The one battle that might even shake the most prudent and the most collected of us, the one that is the most critical in our entire lives.

Initially I thought that failure was the one. To face one's failures has always been difficult, because of the inherent ego in us doesn't allow us to admit our shortcomings at any cost. I have had a list of them, and every time I saw a dead end, I would be more dejected and disheartened than the last time. But after the long string of failures I have had, one thought does creep up, that isn't the process of failure inherent to improve ourselves, a reminder that we are still "Human" in our capabilities and that life never has to come to a standstill as only quagmires can thrive in a standstill environ. So aren't failures meant to unshackle our lives from the quagmires of complacency. This is what I believe to be true.

Then I thought that the loss of someone very close has always been our worst fear, and the toughest battle to face. I , as a person, has always been very possessive of the people I care for, be it my family, my friends or my someone special. The very thought of losing them to anyone else or fate always gave me the jitters and a feeling of void in my heart, a void that nothing could fill. Eventually life taught me otherwise, as I had to let go of the one person I cared for the most. And it was then I learnt a lesson, that is the more you care of a person, the less you have the desire to "Own" them as it becomes apparent that sometimes things happen for the better. You care less for your own happiness of them being around and more about them leading a fulfilled life, be it with you or without you.

The more I thought, the more I faced a dead end. As in the end everything happens as there is a reason and a lesson to be learnt. So guess any battle in life, be it as tough as it may be, always happens for a good. That was it . Full stop?

It wasn't till recently I realized that there is a battle that we wage daily and is the most difficult battle of them all. The battle that is only privy to our own selves as individuals. Our very own battles that we fight daily, the one against our very own conscience, the battle with our inner voice. Why is the most difficult? It is so because in the long run that it is this battle defines the concept of "Us"as a person over our entire lives. Our own privy battles that we are at ends with every day of our lives. And yes, I would definitely rate this as the most toughest battle of my life. As this is the one battle that I would say defines the meaning of my entire life.

This is the true joy of life, the being used up for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one.

- George Bernard Shaw