"Only if you can be my first. Only if you can be my last."
I remember these words vividly in my memory, as if it just happened yesterday. There I was standing, confessing for the very first time in my life, that I loved her, that I'd do anything for her. And this was her reply.
The foolish and romantic times, when the human soul for the first time realizes that Lord God had created our form, incomplete, only to be completed by the form of the other. That there is Yin and there is Yang, that fire loses control without water and that water loses its meaning without fire. That the opposite of a proton is electron, and alone are but energy quantified, but together they are the building blocks of the entire universe.That there is unity in opposites. That opposites complete each other. That opposites complement each other. Yes, it is this experience that makes us realize, there exists a word "Soulmate" in every Cupid dictionary.
I remember the time as if it just happened yesterday. I still remember the lingering fragrance of the her shampoo she used the first time when I saw her. How foolhardily I used to make sure I was before time on every tuition, just to ensure that I could look at her lovely face a little bit longer. My mind, like a blank and unwritten slate, was left etched and graffiti-ed by her images, which still cannot be purged by any amount of scrubbing. You might try hiding it in some corner, try erasing it, but the lingering memory always forms a part of some of the best moments you ever had in life.
And yes, If you still haven't guessed, well I am talking about first love. My first love happened when I was still young and naive. When I was ready to love, but not ready to take responsibility. I was ready to commit my all, but when it came to action, I faltered. And to this day do I regret losing out on my First Love. Losing out on her. The only girl, that even till now, I'd ever want to spent an entire "Entirety" with.
She taught me what it means to love. She taught me sacrifice. She instilled in me courage and the motivation to perform. And today, though I can say, that I have attained that a meager population of our entire country aspire of achieving, but without her presence here with me, it all stands meaningless.
The cure of a broken heart is time. But time can't heal the emptiness that is left by a person, who was ready to accept you most unrefined and innate form. Many might come and then many might go, but she is and always would be "Numero Uno".
Yes, my first fall was my hardest fall, from which I am still yet to recover. The experience was, as they say, once in a lifetime. And yes, no one can and will ever be able to take her place.
The me that stood there that day, asking her out, was just an amateur. If I had had the opportunity to meet him today, I would tell him, that she is an amazing girl. She will teach you things that would define in your head what love is all about. And never ever leave her. But as I still know, the time machine will never be invented(and this argument will be discussed in a later post) and so I can't fight the evil called "Fate".
But I know this much, that the difference between that me and this me, is all because of her. And that even though we crossed paths for what would be an insignificant moment in her life, but it was that insignificant moment, that transformed to who I am today. And for all those people who are still in this awesome experience, just one piece of advice: " Guys you get better with time. She accepted you at your worse, and will change you for your Good. Respect her. Love her."
