Well its June here. And hell yeah, its raining.
I have this theory called the "Rain Syndrome". Whenever it rains, the human minds becomes kinda retrospective and you generally tend to contemplate on things that have already happened in the past. The decisions you took, the mistakes you've made. And yeah that's what happening to me right now.
Well there is this thing I have been meaning to write about for quite some time. Its about life in general. Like what makes life so good and what makes it so bad.
In the past 4 years, I have been like through hell and back. Mistakes, Bigger Mistakes, Bad Decisions, Deception, Lies and what not. But still they have been like the most unforgettable years(though not as the year preceding these 4 years) of my life courtesy my amazing friends. And at such times you generally have a thought. Why doesn't life be all happy. Why don't we have utopia, A Perfect place with no sorrow. Why do we have the bad things. Why not everything good. And I know many a people feel the same. Why do we make mistakes. And why do things hurt a lot. Ahh, the rain certainly gets to the human mind. Nature has its own shrewd and mysterious ways to get to a person.
The last time it was raining, I remember I met the love of my life. It was the first time I saw her at a tuition. And even though rain is one of nature's most invigorating sights, but in her backdrop, all seemed faded grey. And yeah, though it took me quite some time, but she painted my life in colors I could never imagine. But how can everything remain so perfect.
Just when I got over with all my exams, a terrible thing happened to my family. And I remember, even that day it was raining. It was the 23rd of May, 2006. And again, nature had the better of the human. I began contemplating again about everything in life. I wonder many a times that how a moment can change the whole course of one's life. I thought a lot. About many things. But the only thing that came to my mind was "If this happens, will I still be ever able to support her?". You see, when you're not sure about a thing, you gradually tend to think a lot. And when you think a lot, you generally make a wrong decision. And thats what I did. I decided it was better to let her go, because may be I won't be able to come to her expectations and that was something unacceptable being the egotist I am.
It is said that, the only thing that heals a broken heart is time. I tried time and again. But then we had a talk in between. I realized she was over me and it was only me lingering on to something that I had let go in the first place. And yeah, as she sounded, hell no I would never had made it up to her expectations. So finally my heart was at peace.It took me more than 3 years, but then at the end of it "Kites" happened. Guys I know not many of you might have liked that movie, but seriously that movie was amazing. That movie made me realize that it wasn't all about me. What were her expectations, or her loved ones expectations I never asked. You know, sometimes the only thing you need is Faith. And that was I had lacked. Sometimes all it takes is a simple sentence, and in my case it would have been "Baby together we will make it work."
The thing is that life is as simple as it gets and as complicated as you make it. And we generally tend to make it complicated hence missing on the fun of the simple things in life. And one of the most simplest things in life is Love. And at the end of this 5 year long journey, though we still end up as friends. But these 5 years have been my single biggest achievement.
I realized that I do Love someone, uninhibitedly i.e. it had been an uninhibited emotion, even the mistake that I did make was because I cared. And that is what my achievement is. I see in the world around me, people bound by reality which is nothing but some crap invented around them. Not living like themselves because of tons of inhibitions, be it parental, from friends, from the society. Many of the people that I know around me fail to be who they actually are. Because they are busy pleasing other people. Yeah they say they are people important to them, but you know, the only happiness to them is that when you are happy. My father always says to me, "Son, go out there live your life, be happy, and that is the single source of happiness and strength for me. Don't ever try to do things for my sake. Live for your own cause. Its just one life you get. Don't waste it in living it up to other peoples expectations". And I take pride in feeling an emotion that wasn't hindered by anything.
Well guys, thats all that the Rain had to get out of me for this time. Maybe something else for the next time.
"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."
